200 Motels

Frank Zappa 200 Motels Album

24.Penis Dimension

Mark volman (vocals)
Howard kaylan (vocals)
Ian underwood (keyboards, woodwinds)
Aynsley dunbar (drums)
George duke (keyboards, trombone)
Martin lickert (bass)
Ruth underwood (orchestra drum set)
Jim pons (vocals)

Mark volman:
Penis dimension.

Howard kaylan:
Penis dimension.

Everybody:
Penis dimension is worrying me.
I can't hardly sleep at night
'cause of penis dimension

Do you worry?
Do you worry a lot?

No!

Do you worry?
Do you worry and moan ...
That the size of your cock is not monsrtous enough?

It's your penis dimension!
Penis dimension!

Howard kaylan:
Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah

Mark volman:
Hiya friends. now just be honest about it. did you ever consider
the possibliity that your penis, and in the case of many
dignified ladies, that the size of the titties themselves might
provide
Nts of subconscious tension? weird, twisted anxieties that could
force a human being to have to become a politician. a policeman.
a jesuit monk. a rock and roll guitar player. a wino. you name i
In the case of the ladies, the ones that can't afford a silicone
beef-up, may become writers of hot books.

Howard kaylan:
'manuel, the gardener, placed his burning phallus in her
quivering quim.'

Mark volman:
Yes, or they become carmelite nuns.

Howard kaylan:
'gonzo, the lead guitar player, placed his mutated member in her
slithering slit.' ha ha ha!

Mark volman:
Ooh, or racehorse jockeys. there is no reason why you, or your
loved one should suffer. things are bad enough, without the size
of your organ adding even more misery to the troubles of the
world

Howard kaylan:
Right on, right on!

Mark volman:
Now, if your a lady and you've got munchkin tits, you can
console yourself with this age-old line from primary school:

Mark volman & howard kaylan:
Anything over a mouthful, is wasted.

Mark volman:
Yes! and isn't it the truth? and if you're a guy, one night
you're at a party and you're trying to be cool, i mean, you
aren't even wearing any underwear your being so cool, and
somebody hits on
One night, and looks you up and down and he says uh,

Howard kaylan:
Eight inches or less?

Mark volman:
Well let me tell you, brother, that's the time when you got to
turn around and look that son of a bitch right between the eyes.
and you got to tell him these words: